The Value of Friendship

The Value of Friendship

Posted on Apr. 22, 2016

 

Mark B is a Haitian elder whom I visit weekly. Every Tuesday afternoon Mark, John (a social worker) and I play his favorite game, dominoes. Since English is both of our second languages, dominoes seems to become the most efficient way we communicate. When Mark does not have tiles to play in his hand and needs to draw from the pile, I am always happy since the more he gets from the pile, the bigger the possibility I can win. And the same goes with Mark, every time I have to draw, Mark seems surprised, but in fact he knows exactly what I have in my hand and is probably secretly celebrating me drawing more cards. We are always joking during the domino game, and gradually I get to know Mark better that he is a humorous and open-minded person.

Mark is so good at dominos that he is extremely tough to beat, especially after a toy monkey I brought back from my trip home to China has joined the group as a trophy. And so far, for three straight weeks, Mark has taken the monkey home without even allowing the rest of us to touch it. Moreover, about the monkey, Mark likes it very much, and he would also constantly joke around that the monkey peed on his bed last week, or the monkey would not drink the whiskey he offered. However, just when everything is going pretty well and all of us are enjoying the weekly domino time, John tells us this week that next week will be his last at the building, thus the last time for us to play domino together. And for me too, I have two more weeks with Mark before school ends next month.

When Mark heard the news, he suddenly became gloomy and silent while just a moment before he was still joking about the monkey, which is frustrating and surprising to see.  Such significant transformation makes me feel sad and responsible that my leaving lets him down, and I should keep myself around from time to time even after the placement ends. But on the other side, I feel like I just begin to know how much the one-hour domino time means for Mark. For me as well as for John I suppose, it is just one hour playing games with Mark, but for Mark it might mean the only social hour in a week, or the only hour he can play his favorite game, or a lot more. Thinking about his dramatic change in mood in this regard, I realize the bigger picture or the underlying meanings volunteers’ services are to the elders: Our regular presence in their life might be among the few social connections they maintain with the outside society. Having such an astonishing realization helps me understand the severity of elder isolation issues better, and it further motivates me to keep working as a volunteer, easing the isolation issues for those sweet, friendly elders like Mark.